Do You Want Icecream?

Manipulative.

That’s a trait I never embodied much (well— you could ask Elliott!). 

Rather, starting at a young age, I have spent my life trying to please others and configure my responses to best fit their expectations and desires. The concept of controlling people to benefit myself is generally foreign. It’s most important to me that everyone feels loved and appreciated, as often as possible. What is it-- the Golden Retriever type? The Merchant personality? Yes.

But some kids…. That’s not so much the case. They are sneaky. They are observant and conniving. They find your smallest loopholes, and they are ready to pounce any second on any given perfect opportunity.

Now, luckily, as a dean, I haven’t (yet) seen this tendency flourish to the extreme… though I can imagine a multitude of ways it could!! I’m on the lookout. But in small ways, I’ve been floored by what some of my students can come up with! Creativity, man.

Take this evening for instance:

I was enjoying a lovely fall walk— off-campus, through some nearby neighborhoods, marveling at the gorgeous trees that are magically turning colors and dropping leaves this time of year.

A text comes in from a student: “Hi Dean Berger! Do you want some icecream???”

Me: “Yum! Where are you?” thinking, ‘How nice, they don’t usually extend kindness like that… so sweet of them to think of me.’
Student: “The Rec Room. Where are you?”
Me: “I’ll be back soon. Don’t wait for me, but thank you!”

…

Student: “Um actually we were going to graciously buy you icecream if you’d take us there. to Coldstone :) Please :)”

Me: “Oh... uh huh. I see. ;)”

What a backwards way of asking! Shaking my head at my own naiveté, I made my way back to the school and prepared a good-natured negotiation.
Coldstone did sound yummy…..

Despite creative attempts at bribery and blatant flattery, I’m on to these kids. They are pretty fun. If we can just channel this energy for good, not evil!!!

Icecream, it is.