January: Month of Change

"Only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change. " -Confucious

 

"To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often." -Winston Churchill

 

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." -George Bernard Shaw

"Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole [person]." -Maya Angelou

"Change is hard." -Allison Berger

 
January is notorious for change, isn't it? We begin a new year, we set resolutions, and we train new habits-- a promising and invigorating month! Yet I tend to see January as a mite tumultuous; maybe it's the process of getting back on track after the holidays, or maybe because several of my Januaries tended to change my relationship status (oo, shall I predict a trend? We still have 16 days left! jk). It's always hard to come back to school after weeks of independence, relaxation, and straight-up vacation. Even though I'm a dean and not a student this year, it was still a challenging transition to arrive back on campus: It's hard to get the kids back under control, hard to remind them of the structure of dorm living, hard to expect the same level of attentiveness to the rules and adherence to policy that was rolling along fairly smoothly before Christmas... It was a frustrating first week.

It's hard that two of our students are leaving before the end of this week and will not be entering second semester. One is a senior who hasn't made grades a priority. This student essentially "gave up" a couple months ago, despite interventions of staff and peers. With only 5 months left before graduation, after 3.5 years of muddling through, it's very disheartening to see someone give up on high school like that. I'm not as "choleric" as a couple of the other deans, so this scenario depresses me. I want to help, I want to see success, and I want a happy ending.  The other student leaving is a sophomore sweetheart who I have become quite close to, and it makes us both cry to say goodbye! This student has decided to finish her 10th grade year at public school while living with her dad on the Oregon coast. She plans to return to Gem State next year-- which softens the traumatic blow for her and her classmates-- but as she said, we don't know that I'll be back here again, and so... goodbye.

These students are both pursuing change in their lives, and I suppose we all do. In fact, as hard as change may be, it is necessary, as "they" say. I once heard a quote that said something like change being the only thing one can truly count on. So, change happens, and sometimes you want it to.

I certainly would like to spark a bigger change in our first student... But I commend the second student for her ambition and for actively seeking change in her life. I know a bit of her situation, and she doesn't have to go; she will be leaving her best friends, her dorm room, her school jobs, her entire comfort circle. I wonder, does she know what she's doing?! She is optimistic about the big switch and a big school. Rightfully. I went to public school for two years and received a marvelous, top-notch education. With 1600+ kids enrolled with me at Henry D. Sheldon High, it was a giant change for me, and I experienced anonymity in school like never before. Contrary to the expectations of some elderly church members, I was never bullied, I was never offered cigarettes, I did not get pregnant, and I didn't even find a leather-clad biker dude to date (Dad!). I did avoid dark corners and odd characters, joined choir, took physics, went to pep rallies, called my mom daily for the first couple months during lunchtime so I wouldn't appear so alone, attended Prom in the Spring, and made a couple really nice friends in AP English. Those years were interesting, lonely and scary, exhilarating and overall growing. After graduating, I knew with determination that I wanted a smaller, closer, Christian college experience. Anyway, I pray the same positive experience for my student (if at all possible, minus the scary and lonely).

Change isn't always difficult for everybody. Good for you, if you're one of those people! Looking back, change in my life has brought the best things, hands down, repeatedly. It's only in the moment that change is a little (or a lot) uncomfortable, I suppose. As January plays out and I adjust to various change at Gem State as well as change in my own life, I'll try to remember the good perspective that is undoubtedly coming soon.